You think Koalas are cuddly? Like this one?

You think this 20-hours-sleeping and 4-hours-eating creatures are as sweet as pure sugar? You are wrong. Actually Koalas are rather the cruel beasts than dainty bears. And we indentified the reason why!

First of all they blur your senses. That’s most important, because you don’t realize the inconvenient truth. You only think “How cute”!

But look at this male. Do you see it? It’s movements? They are the same as those of a alpha gorilla. He wants to dominate, to rule them all. There is no cuddling, sweet or sweetness at all! It’s all about domination and fertilzation!

You still are not convinced? Look at these claws! These allegedly cute Koalas could rip a full-grown human apart! The crocodiles might be also cruel, but this are only instincts. The Koalas do everything in a rational and intentional way!

That’s why Katja and I made an experiment. We encountered a so-called cute Koala to check it’s true temper. Firstly it there was nothing suspicious. It was chewing it eucalyptus leafs in an usual and absent manner. So we took just two, t w o! little leafes to check out it’s reaction!

And this was enough to totally change the “cute” Koala. Look at it’s squinting glance. It was only a matter of time. A precious second between life and death.

We used it to escape. Luckily unharmed. Alive. But just before we left, we could get the clue. We could sniff the Koala and know now why they are so aggressive!

The Koala smelled like an eucalyptus tree. So far so good. But additionally we smelled a sweet, deep scent I only knew from the drugs rooom during my time in prosecution.

Marijuana!

I might have guessed! Those little Koalas are on drugs! But it does not only calm them down (That’s why Koalas don’t do anything, but sleeping and eating). Moreover they become aggressive. So our next duty is to find out, how and where the grow that stuff.

I hope you are not too much horrified. You know, there is more of a human iniside a Koala as we thought. And anyway they look cute.

Maybe I should post this on Wikipedia. They are still so blue-eyed there…

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Tags: australia, Cleland Conservation Park, drugs, Koala, marijuana